My Colonoscopy

Today I had a colonoscopy—at 70, my first. Many of my friends have undergone this probing procedure over the years, some of them multiple times, and I’ve heard a wide range of stories and advice. Many have described the prep day preceding the exam as the worst ever. Others have said it was tolerable. Everyone has said that the procedure itself was easy by comparison. Well, now that I’ve been through it myself, I can say that the entire experience was… not so bad.  My prep day—July 4th, of all days—was okay, despite the fact that I couldn’t eat any solid or even colored food. I consumed so much Italian ice and tea and coffee and ginger ale that I never felt all that hungry, and once I began to drink the prescribed lemon-lime Gatorade and Miralax mixture (16 ounces every half hour until it was gone), appetite was not an issue. But I didn’t mind drinking the Gatorade; it brought me back to my high school track days, when Gatorade was a staple of the team. And even the fireworks that followed went as expected and didn’t torture me as some had warned they would. And I can definitely agree that the exam this morning was a piece of cake among the many items on the menu. I was out for what seemed like a minute, awoke refreshed, and was my old (ooh—that word!) self again a half hour later. So, to all of you readers who at some point may be asked to surrender your backsides to your healthcare providers, I say: drink up (but only clear liquids), fear not, enjoy a really deep sleep, and when it’s all over, chow down.