What do you see out of your window today?

Fictional Fishing

A story by Allen VanBlarcum



Right Angling - Fictional Fishing Headquarters

While fishing in very heavy fog (like pea soup),

Marc Jones of Bedford Parc

(Parc and Marc strange isn’t it, yeah I checked the spelling)

claimed to have caught a fish up in the dense condensation

above the water of his favorite pond.Predictions of the size 

of bass he was about to land went up in smoke as he

reeled in a mallard duck.

Fog so thick that fish can swim in it !!!

I’ve heard it all!!! Fishermen have finally broken the final barrier of sound!

Armed with the latest listening device Jack Rex (local fishing legend)

has been eavesdropping on the fishery of Lake Grapevine.

After signing a contract with Dallas record label, Jack will be

releasing a CD titled I heard it through the Grapevine.

The CD will feature bass singing hits like,

Those were the dace my friends and, 

Breams 5th Symphony.

Local Union C.A.R.P. (Cold-blooded, Aquatic, Reptile, Perch )

went on strike today. Union members were outraged

after reading a headline of an editorial in the

local newspaper, Support your local Hookers.

The Sunfish were cloudy on the issue. Tackle stores claim victory in sales figures!

The new lure introduced by Gotcha Bait Co.

landed big sales for retailers. The new lure

stic-ya good features adhesives that instantly

bond as the fish bites it. Anglers were also caught 

up in the action when handling the lures released

the adhesives. The release agent will be on the market

later in the month. Retailers are forecasting profits.

A fisherman was stranded for three days on frozen Lake

Michigan last month. Reportedly surviving the cold in 

a unique way. Piling the frozen fish into walls and building a shelter. 

The fisherman stated that, The fishing has never been better!

Thank God I had enough bait and love Sushi.

Skunks flock to local tackle shop after

shop owner drops a case of Freddies’ Fruit

of the Flume stink bait for catfish. Tradesman

let them eat their fill from a distance.

New fad hits the hits Craz-iod button in the world of fashion.
Trendy statements made by youngster wearing 

plugs and lures in their lips, ear lobes and septum.

Tackle manufacturers have to add warning label

informing consumers of dangers of swimming

with this fashionable jewelry.

Epidemic hits local lakes. Chiropractors report 

a new injury called Flat Rock Syndrome" which affects the lower back.

Flat Rock Syndrome is caused by flying across 

a windy lake in a bass boat over big waves. The name

comes from skipping a flat rock on the water and 

if you’ve been on a high speed bass boat zipping over large waves 

you have experienced the effect.

Later shorty.

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  Cedar Park, TX
fall 2010


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