This year taught me keeping myself first isn't selfish, it's necessary.
The year 2021 started with a lot of chaos, but now when I look back, it was all necessary chaos to help me reach where I needed to. You see every circumstance has a hidden treasure.
It all started with me feeling completely stuck, unhappy in my 9 years of finance corporate job that too where I was doing quite good, got all promotions but deep down within I knew there is something else meant for me, not knowing what is it but definitely knowing this isn't something I can do anymore. The only reason I was doing it like many others is money.
I have been into meditation and studying alot of personal growth books, attending seminars with a strong belief in Universe. That's when something someone said to me that day while as usual i was watching some seminar struck me. He was a motivational speaker, where he mentioned "You go to job for satisfaction and not to earn money. Money just follows" This just made perfect sense to me and validated all my feelings that I was ignoring. You see when you truly want an answer universe helps you in every way, that was my message from the universe. I had this strong belief system, which we all have that we go to work for money so we need to take all the work stress because at the end of day it's paying us- which is a complete lie we are telling ourselves.
So I decided to give myself a priority this time, without being scared, I made a firm decision to call at my workplace to ask for few days time off. The reason I said not scared because whenever I thought of putting myself first I always felt this fear attached with guilt, that if I think of myself I'll be selfish. That my family will get upset, nobody will agree to it, they will call me insane for not thinking from a rationale mind and all related self doubts. This time I was even ok to resign, I let go of every fear attached. And guess what when you let go every fear and believe in your intuition everything around you fall in place for you. They gave me 20 days time off . And during that time I went to Rishikesh my all time go to place, to sit beside Ganges river knowing ill know what I need to do by the time I return. My gut was talking to me clearly.
I knew in these 20 days I'll know if I want to work any more in these corporate jobs or not. The decision this time will be firm and not a hasty one.
Indeed, I came back knowing what I need to do is only what I love to do, I moved into personal growth industry and started my journey as a Energy mentor, healing practitioner, content writer and designer. And I got a project in these 20 days itself.
This year truly taught me and gave me a lot of such experiences and situations where I had to choose myself and let go of people, situations that were no more in alignment to where my higher self was taking me.
Was it fearful?? Hell Yesssss, but I kept on trusting and following my gut. I learnt how when you put yourself first where you are not harming any other individual isn't selfish at all. It's the deepest form of love you can give to yourself, because all your life what we have been doing is ignore, criticise, judge, hate, doubt ourself.
Love yourself without feeling guilty and listen to your intuition, it's always is guiding you, trying to communicate with you, listen to it. It's working for your highest good.
Il soon come back with many other experiences from the same year soon.